He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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