it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
