theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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