maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
