Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My ass is underappreciated
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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