sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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