Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
