If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize