Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
