he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
