My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
