Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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