But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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