he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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