Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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