I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
