What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
