Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
