I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize