If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
