Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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