David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
