ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I bet he comes in French.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
