Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Farmville is her only friend.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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