the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
