Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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