5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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