I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
