$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
When are your genitals available?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
