I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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