There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
