Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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