Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Can I color on your dick again?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
