so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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