U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
