Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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