We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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