Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
