Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
