i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
