Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
