quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
