of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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