i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Randomize
