very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Text me some of your sweat
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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