Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You were trust falling into bushes
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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