I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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