Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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