What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize