Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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