remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
