So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just invented taco cereal.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
