I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
