I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
