Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
