Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
