I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
