Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
