we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
jump out the window naked night went bad
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