so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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