Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
