What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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