I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Your tits are I can't wait for
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
