Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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