i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
