The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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