so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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