I cannot find my penis.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
