"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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