and you said cock pushups were impossible
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
