Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
