my mouth tastes like poor choices
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Randomize
